"It all began in fourth grade. My first day at a new school. My desk was perfectly organized, several times in the morning. There wasn't any doubt or questioning. I already knew I was gonna be a straight A student and have an amazing year with all these new people. Recess, time to play.
Basketball was the sport of choice today. We would shoot free throws for teams. I was next to last to make a basket. The only one who I beat was the comic book kid. I didn't score any points in the game and had convinced myself already. I was no good at basketball. The guys who were better at basketball were just cooler over all. I didn't know why, I just knew it was true. It seemed to me like no matter what games we played all year I was never the best. I did ok sometimes. But I was never number one.
Next year we started 5-8 grade basketball. I'd always known that the older kids were cooler. So in fifth grade when I was on the basketball team I figured out that they were all cooler because they were taller and better at basketball. In eigth grade, the tenth graders were cooler, in tenth grade the seniors. All through life it was just a gradual progression.
Really it was ninth grade when things got serious. Throughout middle school it was just known that the better athletes were cooler. In high school it was clearly stated on a regular basis. If you're a good athlete in high school you're made. I decided that I was gonna have to do what I could to become the best athlete. I started lifting weights constantly and in just over a year I had the highest parallel squat on the varsity football team. I was number one. The highest parallel squat in the history of the school actually. So that was something to shout about, and we did.
I had a week off between breaking that record and our first day of practice. I was King for a week. I couldn't have been happier. Well football started and we quickly found out that I wasn't all that good at football. I had really bad technique and was just kind of lazy. So I was benched after 1 day of practice never to see a starting position in a varsity game. I became so unbelievably bitter and had a miserable season what is important though is to consider the ridiculing that was directed at me because I never started. Day in and day out. I felt so worthless and frustrated that I couldn't seem to do any better.
All that mattered in life was being good at sports and I wasn't. How could I stand to be the way I was? Embarassing to just go to school. Living hell, all because I couldn't block as good as some other kid?
Looking back it's really quite foolish but it shows in stunning quality the way high school athletics are. I remember how we had the football table and the nerds had the nerd table and they weren't as cool as us. Everyone knew it. Some of the players would take to mocking people, some wouldn't.
I was really good friends with most of the players. I know for a fact. The biggest and meanest jackass on the team, who would treat non-football guys like shit. Did the worst in school, never had a girlfriend, was overweight, and did nothing after high school. Sure he could beat a lot of people up in a fight. Sure he had more sacks than anyone on the team. But does that matter now? Is he better off for it? Focusing all his energy on athletic ability and the prestige that came along with it, at the end of it all he was left with less than he started with.
Then there is my friend who worked really hard at football, worked just as hard in class, worked a job in high school to make money. Who is now enjoying tremendous success in all avenues of his life. Not because he was so good at football, or because he was smart or rich. But because he knew the importance of balance. He would be at parties once in a while but not much. He would have flings with girls rarely, but not often. He worked so he could have a car but was far from rich.
The rambling so far in this post is meant to show that entire engagement into athletics can lead to a frustrating path. I remember hearing comments about football in March when the season had been over for six months. From the kid who shortly thereafter got his girlfriend pregnant and is now what we'd call "white trash".
The key to happiness in high school in relativity to sports. Try and be a good athlete. Try and be a better person. The good person is the one who will end up with true success."
This post isn't as detailed as it could be. Just a sharing of some of my experiences and showing the mindset that is carried all throughout high school. I don't regret any of the choices I made in high school. I believe it all happened for a reason. I'm just wanting to show that the people that were cool and feared in high school aren't the definition of success lately.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Why am I doing this
"It is important for us to ask ourselves in every aspect of everything we ever do. Why am I doing this? This can be asked constantly from sun up to sun down. Everyone unconciously asks this towards a lot of things. "Why am I eating dinner?", "Uhh, I'm hungry".
Examining why we are doing what it is that we are doing is the first step to doing what is we need to be doing to get to where we want to be. A simple truth that can change lives. Ask yourself, "Why am I watching television three hours a day?" your answer is likely to be something close to "nothing better to do". Well, the other simple truth is that there is always something better to do. So if you want to watch television the rest of your life then by all means continue. The only person you have to justify yourself to is yourself.
Most people want to accomplish big things. They want to make lots of money, travel the world, run businesses, invest successfully. These all stem from one thing. The desire to feel important. It is one of the most influential desires that people have. Most people don't actively entertain the thought that they like to feel important. They just feel good when they feel important and feel bad when they don't.
There are three things that are plastered into us in America today that are "necessary" in order for a man to be important. Athletic ability, sexual achievments, and economic status. I just finished reading the book "Season of Life by Jeffrey Marx" and he talks in great detail about this. What is most important is to break into people is that those three things are not what is most important.
The problem is everyone thinks that they are, and I mean everyone. So anyone who doesn't think they are not most important might find themselves taking heat for "being different"or not going with the status quo.
Most people's desire to feel important initially begins with wanting to be accepted. So the cycle begins. Everyone has false ideas of importance engrained into them. But the basic need to feel important of all humans crushes most people from being willing to say any different then what everyone thinks. Simply because they want to feel important.
A close friend once told me "Worshipping wealth is not the key to finding happiness in life. However, trying to make enough money to permit us to live out our dreams and travel is a worthwhile goal". That might be the most logical thing I've ever been told. It is the perfect blend of thinking money isn't everything and money is everything. My personal feelings are that money isn't everything, but why not have a lot of it? Sex isn't super important but is natural and good to have safely. Being a super athlete isn't everything but it's good to be healthy and in shape.
Balance really is the key to life. The three things mentioned are certainly important each in their own way. All to often people get caught up with just one. You see if no one had money the world would be hell and we'd probably die. If no one had sex, we wouldn't exist. If athletics didn't exist, we' die. Take out any of the three and it's bad news. Make any of the three your only desire in life and it's bad news. So view it as a pendulum where you ideally should be in the very middle with each one.
What is all too often overlooked is that there are more than these three things. So much more, that lead to so much more, and on and on. The most unhappy people I know have the most money. The guys who get laid the most are going no where in life and are secretly miserable. Great athletes often feel inadequate and under rated and have serious problems.
Keep that last paragraph in context though. I am by no means intending to say money is bad, don't be pro athletes, and die virgins. I am saying the happiest and most content people in any category of money, sex, sports has balance. Anytime you start to lose balance quality of life will be lost also.
Don't think of the writer of this blog as being some perfect person. Or even as that good of a person. The things he says should be taken with a grain of salt as he is as flawed and screwed up as anyone. Maybe more than most. He's just a person who was blessed with being able to write literally and wants to use that gift to say something worthwhile. "
The next three installments will discuss in detail each of the three false senses of importance I mentioned here. After that I will write about whatever I feel motivated to write about. Topics like college life, religion, finances, goals, careers, philosophy, and anything else that is worthwhile. I think it would be beneficial for my writing and your reading if those who read would be willing to give feedback and advice. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.
Yours Truly,
Jordan Laubaugh
Examining why we are doing what it is that we are doing is the first step to doing what is we need to be doing to get to where we want to be. A simple truth that can change lives. Ask yourself, "Why am I watching television three hours a day?" your answer is likely to be something close to "nothing better to do". Well, the other simple truth is that there is always something better to do. So if you want to watch television the rest of your life then by all means continue. The only person you have to justify yourself to is yourself.
Most people want to accomplish big things. They want to make lots of money, travel the world, run businesses, invest successfully. These all stem from one thing. The desire to feel important. It is one of the most influential desires that people have. Most people don't actively entertain the thought that they like to feel important. They just feel good when they feel important and feel bad when they don't.
There are three things that are plastered into us in America today that are "necessary" in order for a man to be important. Athletic ability, sexual achievments, and economic status. I just finished reading the book "Season of Life by Jeffrey Marx" and he talks in great detail about this. What is most important is to break into people is that those three things are not what is most important.
The problem is everyone thinks that they are, and I mean everyone. So anyone who doesn't think they are not most important might find themselves taking heat for "being different"or not going with the status quo.
Most people's desire to feel important initially begins with wanting to be accepted. So the cycle begins. Everyone has false ideas of importance engrained into them. But the basic need to feel important of all humans crushes most people from being willing to say any different then what everyone thinks. Simply because they want to feel important.
A close friend once told me "Worshipping wealth is not the key to finding happiness in life. However, trying to make enough money to permit us to live out our dreams and travel is a worthwhile goal". That might be the most logical thing I've ever been told. It is the perfect blend of thinking money isn't everything and money is everything. My personal feelings are that money isn't everything, but why not have a lot of it? Sex isn't super important but is natural and good to have safely. Being a super athlete isn't everything but it's good to be healthy and in shape.
Balance really is the key to life. The three things mentioned are certainly important each in their own way. All to often people get caught up with just one. You see if no one had money the world would be hell and we'd probably die. If no one had sex, we wouldn't exist. If athletics didn't exist, we' die. Take out any of the three and it's bad news. Make any of the three your only desire in life and it's bad news. So view it as a pendulum where you ideally should be in the very middle with each one.
What is all too often overlooked is that there are more than these three things. So much more, that lead to so much more, and on and on. The most unhappy people I know have the most money. The guys who get laid the most are going no where in life and are secretly miserable. Great athletes often feel inadequate and under rated and have serious problems.
Keep that last paragraph in context though. I am by no means intending to say money is bad, don't be pro athletes, and die virgins. I am saying the happiest and most content people in any category of money, sex, sports has balance. Anytime you start to lose balance quality of life will be lost also.
Don't think of the writer of this blog as being some perfect person. Or even as that good of a person. The things he says should be taken with a grain of salt as he is as flawed and screwed up as anyone. Maybe more than most. He's just a person who was blessed with being able to write literally and wants to use that gift to say something worthwhile. "
The next three installments will discuss in detail each of the three false senses of importance I mentioned here. After that I will write about whatever I feel motivated to write about. Topics like college life, religion, finances, goals, careers, philosophy, and anything else that is worthwhile. I think it would be beneficial for my writing and your reading if those who read would be willing to give feedback and advice. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.
Yours Truly,
Jordan Laubaugh
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